31 Years in Character Building School: Marriage

I have no formal training on how to be a wife or be married. I have, though, been in the Marriage classroom for 31 years. In this school, I’ve learned amazing life lessons. Struggles refined my character. Hardship gave me strength, and not knowing what to do, made me humble and kept me on my knees. Hey– volumes have been written on marriage. I’m skipping the book and sharing a summary of what I wish I had known when I first got married. 🙂


  • Decide what it means to be “easily offended.” Then don’t be that way.
  • Never talk critically about your husband in public or with a group of girlfriends. Only build him up and speak of his positive traits. When necessary confide in a close friend or two for prayer.
  • Ask God to open your eyes to see the needs of your husband.
  • Put him first—especially in his eyes.
  • Close your mouth.
  • Pray more.
  • Forgive him quickly. Do not insist on being right.
  • Ask for forgiveness.
  • Do for your husband what you wish he would do for you.
  • Fight fair. Get to the point of what it’s really about. Then solve it.
  • See his perspective.
  • Appreciate his talents.
  • Understand that God is teaching your husband through being married to you, too.
  • Pray daily for him—but not that he change! Pray that God opens his eyes to see what He wants to show him.
  • Assume the best.
  • Work hard to keep your marriage alive. The time you have alone can be used for talking, connecting, dreaming, and relaxing. Then when hard times come, this strong foundation will help you weather the storm. Anytime two people come together, you will have different ideas, views, and attitudes. Put forth the effort.
  • Be nice. Treat him like a friend. 🙂

Happy Anniversary Alan! I have loved doing life with you!

Debbie is a published author, national speaker and workshop presenter, co-founder of Shine! Ministries and a partner with the Polished Conference L.L.C. In addition, she has an online Bible study page on Facebook, teaches Bible study in her church, and blogs at Living Life Together. Debbie has written Shine! Radiating the Love of God, a Bible study designed exclusively for young women ages 13-18. Additionally, she has articles in the Divine Moments series. All books are available at grace-publishing.com. She would love to speak at your next women’s event, teen event, or at the college where she brings an inspirational message to teachers in training called, “A Christian Perspective for an Inspirational Classroom.” Debbie is married and has three adult children. She travels from Asheville, NC. Visit her website at www.debbiepresnell.com, email her at: debpres@yahoo.com, or visit her page on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/shineministriesnc/


This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to 31 Years in Character Building School: Marriage

  1. yvon63 says:

    Very inspiring blog, Debbie! Happy Anniversary.

  2. Diane Foote says:

    Debbie, as usual, great blog on marriage. May God bless you & Al an with many more years. Love you, girl!! Keep writing.

    • Diane, I had to laugh out loud when I wrote it because it is so simple. But I did learn these things over many years. And I really hope it inspires a new bride… or old bride like me! Love you! And as always, thanks for your faithful encouragement. 🙂

  3. Dot Shope says:

    Debbie, your blog on marriage did inspire an old bride. Steve and I will have our 50th Wedding Anniversary on June 18. God bless you and Allen with many more happy years together. You are such an inspiration! I think of you and your family often. Love, Dottie Shope

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s